Swasthie and Trishul

How they met:

“Trishul and I were introduced to each other by a mutual friend, Kryslina. I met Kryslina through my cousin at a milkshake festival. Once we got to know each other the topic of my dating horrors came up. Kryslina mentioned to my cousin that Trishul would be great for me. They both gleamed at each other with joy at this idea, while I just stared at them wondering “Sooo, who is Trishul?”. Krysie then passed on Trishul’s number to me and we began to talk,” shared Swasthie.

“We instantly hit it off but, because of our busy social schedules at the time, our first date was postponed for about a month! We used this time to get to know one another better. Finally, the time for our date had come! We decided to go out for lunch at The Foundry in Parktown ,North. Being true to his nature Trishul was early. True to my nature, I was getting my nails done at the salon next door and would be late.”

When we finally met I was greeted with the warmest smile from Trishul which instantly made me feel welcome and like I had known him for ages.

We sat at our table, and conversation flowed instantly. Between fun conversation, quirky humour, and delicious food and drinks, we’re not quite sure how lunch turned to supper. Before we knew it,..it was 10pm!

At the end of the evening, Trishul walked me back to my car and as I drive off with giddy excitement,

I couldn’t stop thinking that this looks like the beginning of a great adventure. I was right, it was the start of our happily ever after.

The beginning of happily ever after….

Trishul and I got engaged in December 2018 on the evening of the Geminids meteor shower, where we drove out for an evening of stargazing in hope to see the meteor shower. It is safe to say my head was spinning with ideas from that moment on.

We started the hunt for the perfect wedding venue early January and I was quite excited to attend the bridal fairs that month for ideas and inspiration. Together with the hunt for the perfect wedding venue, we were also house hunting and I was in my last year of completing my post grad diploma.

Unfortunately, my nani (maternal grandmother) passed away from cancer later that month, which was devastating for my family as well as Trishul. We were very close, and Trishul had quickly become her favourite. This placed a halt on all planning, as we took the time to process the emotions that come with such loss. A few months later, with incredible support from friends, family and of course my fiancé( Trishul). I decided to pick up the pieces of my many spreadsheets and restart the planning process.

Planning our wedding was a rollercoaster of emotions, but definitely an experience I will cherish forever.

 We decided we wanted to get married early 2020, and the first convenient auspicious date was 8 March. Just like that the date was set!

Preparing for the big day:

Finding the perfect wedding venue :

The hunt for the perfect wedding venue came with it’s challenges. I quickly learnt that there aren’t many venues in Johannesburg that understand the complexities that come with a traditional Indian wedding ranging from the vegetarian menu requirements, to alerting the owners and managers that there will be a small fire burning during the ceremony(hawan) and not forgetting the capacity limitations!

As we know, the food is a big part of any wedding experience, and I was adamant that we would use a caterer of our choice as most venues do not specialize in Indian cuisine. I was not prepared for the surcharges that come with using outside caterers and this together with venue capacity were the biggest challenges.

I was just about to give in to the frustrations, when an ad for Stones Wedding Venue popped up on Facebook. I clicked on the link and loved pictures; it was also big enough to cater for 260 guests.

I did an online quote and the cost seemed somewhat reasonable. I decided to make a viewing appointment for that weekend. On the Saturday of the appointment, my morning lecture at The University of Johannesburg (UJ) ran a bit late. Trishul and I also had a house viewing appointment before the wedding venue visit.

In a panic, I called Palesa from Stones Wedding Venue to let her know that I am running late, and we may have to postpone. Palesa, sensing my panic was wonderful in calming me down and assured me that she had no other appointments that day and will be available for me whenever I am done. She had begun to win me over before even meeting. Eventually we made it to the venue and was greeted by the most beautiful roman gardens. Palesa was waiting for us in the rain, with the warmest welcome. She took us on a tour of the place which had a beautiful garden set-up and a stunning lapa which was the indoor option.

Seeing as Indian weddings are quite long, and March is rainy season I preferred an indoor venue, but still wanted the freshness and beauty of the gardens to come through. This venue was perfect for this.

We sat down and explained our preferences and requirements to Palesa, who had hosted Indian weddings before, and knew exactly what to expect. This already made the conversation flow easily, and Palesa quoted us while being mindful of my budget. As we drove off, I knew I had found my perfect wedding venue. A few weeks later we had settled on the Stones Wedding Venue and Conference Centre. It was the best decision, and Palesa made the whole process so easy. Palesa and her husband, Rodney, run the place. They pay individual attention to each wedding. Every stressed call to Palesa to confirm details, or change plans was met with enthusiasm and a stress free attitude. This instantly made me feel at ease.

Once the wedding venue was ticked off the list, I needed a venue for the pre-wedding functions being the mehndi and hurdee nights. I decided to host both these functions at home and used a transparent tent hired from Neelan’s Hiring in Lenasia, which was gorgeously decorated for the events.

Deciding on décor for the Mehndi, Hurdee and Wedding:

Next up was décor. I had a look at Kashmira’s (Exquisite Functions) Instagram page on recommendation from Trishul’s sister, and instantly fell in love with her work. Her set-ups and ideas were so unique and fresh, and I knew I had to meet her. Once we met, I knew she would be able to bring my wedding vision to life. She met my ideas with suggestions of her own that blew my mind. I was able to trust her judgement and basically left her to her creative genius in deciding how best to execute our joint ideas.

The perfect photographer to capture priceless moments:

Once décor was done, I turned my attention to photography. Based on what I had seen on social media, I narrowed down my choices to Pritesh Nathoo and Urvesh Rama Photography. We happened to meet Pritesh at a bridal fair and his upbeat nature and creativity won us over.

DIY details:

Once these major items were ticked off, the rest of the planning went on in the background of my studies and our house hunting. Our weekends were spent with many DIY projects that I had seen on Pinterest and Instagram that I wanted to incorporate into my wedding.

These included:

• A weekend of candle decorating with my cousins. I decided to gift decorative scented candles at my mehndi function, so we bought the candles and decorative stickers, and made these ourselves.

• There was a weekend of putting together my wedding favours with my friends which were personalised wooden coasters tied together with a chai tea bag for our guests.
• There were many evenings of making tea light candle holders from old bangles with my dad.

• Many evenings were also spent putting together my wedding invitations. Due to the cost of invites, we decided to do these ourselves. My brother and I found an idea on Youtube and sourced similar items from Oriental Plaza to put together.
• A few nights of arts and crafts where we made our own desi photoprops for the mehndi night.

• Endless nights of dance practices with my friends and brother just before the wedding to fine tune our choreographed performance for the Mehndi and Hurdee Night.

• Numerous nights and weekends spent with my mum and aunts preparing the snacks and other goodies.

These evenings and weekends spent with my friends and families were some of the best memories that I will always cherish. The fun banter, the absolute chaos when everyone is on a different page, and the pure excitement for the wedding was quality time like no other.

Trousseau treasures:

When it came to choosing a bridal lengha, I knew I had to go to Memsaab in Durban. I have always loved their store.

I remember going in as a little girl watching brides try on their lenghas and wondering when it will be my turn.

My turn had finally arrived, and I was super excited for my shopping experience. We went to Durban in May for the Eastern Bridal Fair, as we knew most of the stores would have bridal sales. I knew that I did not want a traditional red bridal lengha. I am more of a pink girl, and I loved the Anushka Sharma lengha, but didn’t want the exact look either.

On the morning of the Memsaab sale we drove early to the store and walked into a frenzy of brides hurling their lenghas across the store, through rows of breathtaking outfits to the dressing rooms. It was quite overwhelming. Luckily, on a previous visit to the store I had met with a consultant, explained what I wanted, and she had kept aside items that she thought I might like. This was so helpful and focused my search.

The sleeve of a muted pink lengha immediately caught my eye. I pulled it out and it was love at first sight. It was perfect in every way.

Luckily my family loved it too, and quickly forgot about the idea of the traditional red lenghas. This too was one of the highlights of my wedding experience.

I also hoped to find a groom’s outfit for Trishul that would complement my outfit, however most sherwanis had red embroidery, which did not match our colour scheme. The hunt for Trishul’s Sherwani ended up being quite a challenge. We wanted something simple, and preferably white to complement the muted tones of my lengha (which was kept as a surprise to Trishul, although he did know it was a shade of pink). Eventually, on the verge of giving up, we found the perfect Sherwani at the India fair at Goldreef City just a few months before the wedding.

Choosing a makeup artist:

Once our wedding outfits and accessories were bought, I was able to finally do makeup trials, My mum joined me for this. It was another special bonding experience filled with emotions when she saw my demo bridal look all come together. Shoba Purbhoo( Indian bridal styling by Shoba), my makeup artist and hair dresser was also amazing throughout, she understood my concerns and vision perfectly and made me feel beautiful and confident. During the weekend of the wedding ,she was great at calming my nerves since most of the day was spent with her and her Bhabhi Vandana who dressed me and my mum. The dressing room was always filled with light banter and laughter.

On the whole, we had fun planning our wedding once the initial hurdles of guest lists and discussions about the different rituals to be performed were passed. There were definitely some crazy moments and disagreements, but we were able to navigate these quite easily. Wedding planning is definitely a testing time for any relationship, but it does have its highlights. We kept our sanity through it all by taking regular breaks to enjoy the last of our carefree time with friends and exciting date nights. This made the journey from engagement to marriage quite memorable and special.

A treasure chest of unforgettable memories:

There were many special memories throughout the wedding weekend. The key moments that stood out for us are:

 My hurdee night:

My uncle/Kaaka (dad’s brother) surprised me with a song dedication that he wrote for me on my hurdee night. We have always been close as I grew up in a tight knit family unit. The song he wrote was really special as it conveyed his and my family’s best wishes to me, but also paid tribute to both my Nani and Aaji whose presences we all missed. This was a special moment that I will cherish forever.

  The wedding day:

The were 3 Standout memories from the wedding :

Walking down the aisle, first with my brother (from the bridal room to the lapa) and then with my dad into the lapa towards Trishul was filled with emotions. The highlight though was the moment I set eyes on Trishul, my dapper Prince Charming waiting for me with the warmest smile and tears of love in his eyes. That was an indescribable moment between us.

Trishul’s best friend’s speech was the second highlight of the day. His speech was the perfect narrative of our story and gave all our guests a glimpse into our journey down the aisle. It was filled with funny stories and face palm moments that kept everyone engaged.

Saying goodbye to my parents at the bidaai was the bittersweet moment that nobody warned me about and I was not prepared to see tears in my dad’s eyes. He has always been my pillar of strength and our relationship has always been a light-hearted one with playful taunts and supportive “of course you can do it” chats.

Advice for brides and grooms to be:

1. The bride and groom should decide on their idea of what the wedding should be like together. Once you have your vision, it is much easier to communicate this to families and convince them it is the way to go. There will be disagreements and crazy moments that pop up, but it is important to remember that is your day, and to always have each other’s back.
2. There are tons of ideas out there, and everyone will have suggestions for you too. Take these into consideration, but be mindful of your initial ideas and visions. Be sure to give your wedding your personal touch. These small personal touches (personalised favours, quirky guestbook ideas, meaningful music choices) creates a sense of intimacy and engagement between the couple and their guests.
3. Choose vendors that will listen to you as a couple, and not insist on their own ideas. Vendors should also be reputable and trustworthy so you do not have the added pressure of constantly checking in to confirm everyone is doing what they’ve been asked to do. It is also important that your venue manager, décor planner and photographer are all in touch with each other so that they can work together to pull off the perfect event. I was lucky that all my service providers had worked together previously, and all had the same energy and mindset as Trishul and I. Once we agreed on everyone’s roles, they all worked together, and I did not need to be constantly involved.
4. Delegate and include friends and family in this process.
5. Remember to stop and have some fun in-between.

Wedding vendors:

• Venue: Stones Wedding and Conference Centre in Midrand.
• Décor and setup for all 3 days: Kashmira from Exquisite Functions
• Hair, Makeup and Dressing: Indian Bridal Styling by Shoba
• Photography and video: Pritesh Nathoo Photography
• Priest: Pundit Sandesh Maharaj
• Mehndi artist: Sapna from Sattvik Henna
• Transparent Tent hire for pre-functions: Neelan’s hiring
• Catering for all 3 days: Baboo Ramdin from Lenasia
• Catering of savoury snacks: The Savoury Basket
• Bridal outfit: Memsaab
• Bridal Jewllery: Sringhar
• Wedding rings and mangalsutra: All personally designed by Vivek from VK Jewellery
• DJ: Dj Neelo
• Wedding cake: Pragna from Eggless Decadence
• Personalised wooden coasters as favours: Buzzwood Creations
• Chai teabags added to the favours: YogiChai – These guys were great and gifted us an extra box as a gift 😊

View the full gallery of Swasthie and Trishul’s wedding below:

Mehndi:

Hurdee:

Wedding: